Tuesday, December 18, 2007

fa la la la la la me meme

This is a meme for you! I regifted this lovely little treasure from Say La Vie, who regifted it from Joke and Poppy. It's a recycled Christmas.



1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
I have dreams of using hand stamped, home made papers. I purchase them from the artists that make them, or save little snippets from my children's art work to use as cards and then I blow it. I shop way too late - panic shopping is truly an art that I have mastered. Then I delicately shove my well thought out panic gift into a grocery store gift bag. But still, in my mind, it's a lovely little package in hand stamped paper with intricate and delicate doo dads adorning the top. A girl can dream...

2. Real tree or artificial?
Totally fake. fake. fake. fake. Fake-A-Roo!
P-L-A-S-T-I-C. A poky little fellow that is an unearthly shade of green.
We call it our eco-friendly reusable tree.
We like to lie to ourselves.
We'd really like to go on the adventure of hunting a tree, but - like wrapping paper - we start the project far too late to be romantic or fun. Tree hunting is stressful and angry. Now we have a faux taunenbaum that we dust off and balance in the corner of the living room. Ahhh.

3. When do you put up the tree?
Let's see, what is the date today? Yep, we're late.
Again with the lies: "It's our reaction to the over commercialization of Christmas." We (LIE) wait until it is a little closer to the actual date so we are all (LIE LIE LIE) in the "spirit of the day."

4. When do you take the tree down?
People take the thing down?

5. Do you like eggnog?
You bet! Load it up with bourbon and I'll drink anything! Especially if it will help me survive the the L-o-n-g evening with family. I'll have two. Make them doubles!

6. Favorite gift received as a child?

I don't really remember anything that I got as a child. Except the one that I looked at before it was wrapped. It was a silver-ish necklace with a kid etched into it, I think. I just remember how I felt when I looked. I was mortified. I didn't even like the necklace. But I sure pretended to LOVE it. I think my acting skills really came in handy on that particular festive night - right, mom?
OK the other gift I remember was the Barbie Make-up Head. I pulled the head off the pink plastic base as I tried to free her from her styrofoam constraints. From that moment on, her head was attached to the neck with silver duct tape. She'd occasionally tilt to the left - poor sad, depressed Make-up Head Barbie. When she'd reach this point, we'd send her to a hotel by herself for a couple of nights. She'd soak in the hot tub and drink wine and watch TV ALL BY HERSELF. This seemed to perk Make-up Head Barbie right up. For awhile. It really is a vicious cycle...
I seem to only remember the bad and not the good. I guess all of those years in therapy didn't really take.

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
But of course. It is of Swedish design. Very sparse.
This year, the Littles have been bringing their Polly Pockets to the manger for a visit. Bus tour is probably the best description. The Pollys come in large groups and buy the quilts and take pictures of the baby and talk about the shepherds in hushed voices. Of course, the Swedish Mary and Joseph pretend not to notice. They smile and nod, smile and nod. Nice couple, those two. But the Kings, well, they're not from around here. They are not happy with the Polly Tours. They are going to have a word or two with the Tour Guide, Mrs. Potato Head, the next time the bus shows up.

8. Hardest person to buy for?

Daddyman. He always SAYS that he likes his gifts, but he doesn't. Not really. They are all in a drawer in the bottom of his closet... just waiting to be regifted in a moment of paniced "Oh-My-Gosh! I forgot a hostess gift! What are we going to do?." Then, he will be prepared. He'll pull out the hand-carved, oak nose trimmer and offer it up as the answers to the Hostess Gift Prayer.


9. Easiest person to buy for?

Oma - my mom. We either have similar taste, or she just wears what I buy her because I am her daughter. You know, she never wore what I made for her as a little girl. Perhaps she is just making up for lost time?


10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
A flannel night gown from my mom and dad as a preteen. Lovely, L.L. Bean flannel from the chin to the floor edelweiss printed flannel night gown. God, I wish I still had that night gown. I am so cold.


11. Mail or email Christmas cards?

"Happy Valentines Day from the Logan Clan."


12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
Rudolph and Santa Claus is Coming to Town. I really don't like any of the Charlie Brown themed specials. Daddyman loves them. I think they are depressing and dull. Could this signal something deeper that is wrong with our relationship? Love love love that theatric feat of magic - Eloise at Christmas, mostly because my kids love it. Really happy when I watch It's a Wonderful Life. In fact, we bought our house because it has a wonky banister thingy at the bottom, just like in the movie. We're such suckers. OK, that's not the only reason, but it was the romantic reason. I don't think the bank would have given us a loan based on a wonky banister thingy. Actually, I'm not sure why the bank gave us a loan. I'd better quite talking about it right now. It's going to jinx something. Weren't we talking about movies...?


13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

See Question #1

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?

See question #8.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
What's not to like? I'm telling you, after a couple of bourbon-eggnogs, everything is yum-yum-yummy!
My family is of Norwegian descent. For those of you to whom that means absolutely nothing, here's the deal: Lefse (think potato tortilla), Lutefisk (white fish soaked in lye until it become gelatinous. Yes. Lye is poisonous. Apparently, Norwegians are impervious.) Boiled potatoes, meat balls with a creamed gravy... are you sensing the theme yet? The food is all white. White and bland. That is the food of my people. Do I like it? Sure. Do I eat it? Mostly? Will I cook it for my children someday? You betcha. What's one meal? That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
I wanted white. Daddyman wanted colored. We compromised and put up colored. He's got to win at least one fight per year. Besides, it's Christmas and I am a giving person.

17. Favorite Christmas song?
My dad is a composer, and he writes a lot of things for Christmas - I love his stuff! Good memories of him writing while I was falling asleep at night. His studio was directly below my bedroom in my childhood home. I also love Lo, How A Rose. I like most Christmas music - I also really like Trailer Trash's Rockabilly Christmas Album

18. Travel for Christmas or stay home?
We used to drive 12 hours across the frozen North Dakota prairie to be with my mom's parents when I was a kid. I loved it. Now we stay home. I love it even more.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers?
I can, but their all made up. I think this batch came from the suburbs: There's Randall and Thomas and Donald and Dixie, Carol and Esther and Vickie and Pudence, Omar and Ismail and DeAnte and Eugene and the most famous reindeer of all? Bruno, the wet nosed reindeer.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Star. Again, per Daddyman's request. (For those of you keeping score... like me, that's two for Daddyman, love and charity and giving gracefully many many times for moi. I'm just waitin' for the Kharma to catch up.)

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Who opens them on Christmas eve? I'm still shopping. They're lucky to be tucked neatly into their little gift bags before dawn.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?

My husband constantly admonishing me about stretching the truth on my blog.

23. What I love most about Christmas?
Every last stinkin' over-stressed, over-planned, over-bourboned, over-caroled moment of it. And I'd do it again next year. Wanna come over to my house?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Daddyman here. Let's see, where to begin?

I don't THINK I'm hard to shop for, but then again, who does?

Otherwise, it's all dead on.

(there dear, now you've won one)

Shandy said...

We have a fake tree too. As a native Oregonian, it really feels like Christmas fraud, but oh how easy it makes everything.

by Johanna Brandvik said...

Sounds like there's quite the party in your little nativity. Here, baby Jesus is MIA. I'm thinking he'll turn up...hopefully by Christmas.

h. said...

Ahna,
Oh your meme made me laugh, which I needed. I particularly enjoyed your reindeer names, but where is Guido? I am pretty sure there was one named Guido...
Oh and the Make Up Head Barbie. I never had one, but my best friend did. I used to think the head moved when no one was around... scary.

Bethany said...

I'm laughing a little too hard over here...at work! Haha!

Miss you guys!

Rose said...

Hey, glad to see you again! How did your classroom observation go? I had mine last week but it was more of a drive by which is okay but sometimes a let down. I mean I want them to see what I'm doing sometimes, you know?
Merry Christmas! The photos on the posting before this one are beautiful!

blackbird said...

I'm thinking I DO want to come over to your house...for THE EGGNOG.

Pye said...

yum, lefse - do you prefer it with white sugar or brown sugar? As for the lutefisk, I'm amazed any Norwegians lived long enough to reproduce. (Do you think maybe it was only eaten by adults who'd already had children?) My papa, of course, eats it in great gulps, slathered in butter.