Monday, November 10, 2008

more of me!

I like the sun, even though my people prefer the snow - as is evident by our creamy, pale skin. (I once worked as a nanny. The delightful little girls - HA! - once announced that my skin was so white that it looked like the underbelly of a fish. Sweet. The same family sent me and their precious little children into the belly of hell - level 20, or something - they gave us a limo and tickets to see "The New Kids on the Block." I didn't actually hear the music. Too many little girls shrieking at the tops of their prepubescent lungs. Again, another delightful memory from the nanny job. Isn't it amazing that I now teach small children and have given birth to - and actually enjoy - 3 Littles of my own?!)

I fart. I like to fart. It feels good.

I don't like to fish. In MN, that is mostly unheard of. People fish in the summer. People fish in the winter. People build shrines to fishing in the winter, then they haul them out onto the middle of the frozen lake and stake their claim. Some people spend days and days in their fishing 'shacks.' Of course, I say shacks lightly - most of them have wall to wall carpeting, heat, plush furniture, several fridges and cooking appliances, and - of course - flat screen, wall mounted, HD cable TV. Crazy! I hate fishing. And I don't much like people who like fishing. Except my dad. But he only fishes in the summer so it doesn't really count.

My dog farts. I hate it when he farts. It is so stinky.

My favorite cake is angel food cake with strawberries and home made whipped cream. Like mom made when I was little. I have a pretty serious sweet tooth. Sugar and booze. love 'em both. And in my world, pretty interchangeable - just depends on the time of day or the day in the week. However, I hate sweet booze. Crazy!

When I was in High School, my boyfriend's mom used to make us ice cream drinks after a long week. I think she just wanted someone to drink with. On the weekend, she'd pull out the blender and whip up Grasshoppers and Solid Gold Cadilacs. Her husband was in the army - Lt. Col. He was the head of the ROTC at a state college in Northern MN. He was pretty absent most of the time. I don't really remember him very well - he was stern and believed that women had their place in life - serving the husband. Not a real surprise that I didn't marry into THAT family (even though the romantic boyfriend MAILED me an engagement ring when I was in college.)

(Of course I kept it.)

My high school boyfriend and I got 'arrested' by a State Park Rangers when we were 'parking' on grounds after hours. We were totally making out - steamed windows, the whole nine yard - when he knocked on the window of boyfriends very snazzy yellow sports car. Boyfriend panicked and stepped on the gas and we drove off the road and crushed a poor, helpless little tree. Park Ranger brought us in to State Park Headquarters - a lovely, little log cabin complete with cozy stone fireplace. He very seriously called our parents. My parents would have not handled the call well. Luckily, they were in Europe and we were being watched by a college student who wasn't really watching at all. Boyfriend's dad was on 'maneuvers' in South Carolina. So BF's mom drove out to the State Park and agreed that she would take us into her custody. She drove us home and made us fancy ice cream drinks. Hmmmm. Then we created a plan to replace the poor, helpless little tree.

I love my husband. He makes me laugh. He doesn't make me ice cream drinks. He's fixing my kitchen situation - more on that later!


Patti said...

i'll say it again...why the bloody hell aren't we next door neighbors?!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

I love you!

Nice pic - who took it?

(hey, I answered my own question!)

Anonymous said...

Wow - really interesting how many negatives you have to say about your ex from high school - he must still be a pretty important memory for you to talk about him so much... wonder what it means that he never thinks of you at all? and that crap about the ex's father? You really didn't know anything about him... the wife would be pretty pissed about you summing her up as "the little wifey." No, you obviously don't have a clue. Grow up and look outside your personal box.

Iguana Banana said...

Anonymous #2
Hmmm. Did you actually read the post? Guess not. Didn't actually call Boyfriend's mom "the little wifey." Actually, I liked her quite a bit. Could you possibly be the old boyfriend? You sound a little bitter.
And frankly, I don't have to "grow up and look outside (my) personal box." It's my blog. It's about me. Don't like it? Don't read it.

Anonymous said...

Why the hell aren't WE next door neighbors? Let's do the math - 32 degrees fahrenheit and freezing rain vs. 75 and sunny in Altadena? Since it's so nice here we have our windows open pretty much all the time so Shadow's farts could waft into the ether rather than be recirculated through the house for the six months that you and your family are hermetically sealed indoors. And there are far fewer pencil-dicked mullet wearing double-wide red-state knuckleheads who make idiotic anonymous posts to compensate for their well, I don't know - don't really want to waste any more time than I already have and honestly, who cares? Hope you had a GREAT birthday - I just finished a bottle of wine in your honor.

Love you!


Ahna said...

That was a very entertaining and funny free-range post! I'm now standing in what is clearly a long queue of people, hoping to win the lottery ticket that will let me be your neighbor! :)

~the Tennessee Ahna

Nonna said...

Wow, AB. I just went back and read some comments on your older posts. I can't believe this person, Anonymous #2, left that posting. Comments were off the mark, and I think he's a complete coward for making those comments and not having the balls to sign his/her name!!!

Anonymous said...

I agree about the jerk who wrote:

'wonder what it means that he (ex-BF) never thinks of you at all?'

I think that's probably not true if he's reading your blog.

I think he protests too much.


by Johanna Brandvik said...

what? you're moving to Altadena?! ;) love you!

Tisha said...

You're right - I should've left my name on the anon comment I wrote the other day... It was a childish decision made in a knee jerk reaction of temper. I apologize for that not only to you, but also to my brother - the "ex" of whom you speak. It discredited not only what I said, but him as well. I will say that I regret not what I said, but how I said it. Let me explain... I found your blog by chance after googling theater stuff in the twin cities and thought it would be cool to see what you've been up to, since it's been about 25 years. However, I was very disappointed to find such condescending and disparaging remarks about not only my brother, but my family. I was very fond of you and looked up to you as a kid. You were the girl with her own style and unafraid of anything to my 12 year old self. But when I saw that you wrote such mocking things about my brother and how he tried to express his love for you, I was blown away. I am dumbfounded by the fact that all you seem to remember is the size of a stone that an 18-19 year old boy could afford to buy you and how he gave it to you. He loved you and did his best to convey those feelings in the most loving way. Is that not enough for those memories to remain treasured instead of belittled? And as far as those comments about my family, you know not of what you speak. You had a very topical, at best, glimpse into my family, so to regard them in such a way is insulting. But, you're right that it is your blog and you do have the right to say whatever you want to say. Call me old fashioned, but I try to live by the adage "if you can't say anything kind don't say anything." No, I don't always succeed, obviously, but I give it my best shot. Again, you have my apologies for my first comment behavior, but when I feel my family is under attack I do have a tendency to speak my mind without really thinking about it first. I hope this has explained my reaction to your blog entry.


Nonna said...


First of all, I admire that you came forward and identified yourself. That took courage. And I appreciate your wanting to "defend" your family. However, I now feel the need to defend my dear friend Ahna. I went to high school in Bemidji too, I knew your brother, but not you or your family. That being said - I have to tell you that you are way off base in your assumptions about Ahna and her intentions.

As I read her blog entry I didn't find them either disparaging or condescending. In fact I found the comments about your mother and the ice cream drinks to be cute and indicative of a kind woman who handled a teenage moment with grace. She could have wigged out and been completely punitive, but she wasn't. She was kind and understanding of young and impetuous love.

If Ahna found your dad to be authoritarian and not around a lot, that's not disparaging, it's just her opinion of her observations and experiences with your family - an opinion she is entitled to. But for you to interpret that as "attacking" is so way off base that I don't even know how to respond to the ludicrousness of it! She could have been a lot more nasty, but wasn't. Lord knows I could write some REALLY NASTY things about my highschool BFs. I don't think she meant anything negative or disparaging, and honestly, what teenage kid doesn't have some cranky things to say about their elders! She was just sharing her experiences when she was much younger and how they’ve shaped her present day.

Ahna has a great sense of humor and a clever wit. The fact that she found your family values at odds with hers and didn't want to marry into a family that she couldn't see eye-to-eye with was fortunate, both for her and your brother. It doesn't mean she was saying your family values were wrong, just that they were wrong for her. If she's poking fun a little at those differences, so what? That's what comedy is about. We all need to take ourselves a little less seriously sometimes...

If you knew Ahna today, you'd know what I say is true. She is one of the most kind and loving people I know. She's always welcoming and warm, and still a ton of fun to be around. She is like a sister to me, although I regret we don't see each other often enough. We all have life stories to tell, and she does a great job in sharing them. We all learn lessons from our life stories, and the reality is, no one's childhood, or life, is Pollyanna. She's just confronting the reality of her mistakes and we're all enjoying the ride with her.

I haven't talked to Ahna personally about this, but I'm certain in my heart she meant no ill-will towards your brother or your family by her post, and I for one am sorry you mis-interpreted her in that way and caused her any modicum of angst on her birthday. I'm sorry for you that you can't see the bigger picture and know her heart, and enjoy the humor of our childhoods from wherever it may come. Julia