Thursday, February 26, 2009

why am I such a flake?

Do you ever have a day that you wonder - who the hell have I become?
You see, I used to be really fun and easy going. I had not a care in the world. I was the first one to jump into this world and play hard.
Apparently, that's not so true anymore.
I recently had the opportunity to reconnect with these two good friends from college. Eric picked me up at my house, and together we drove to Northfield to visit Steve and his wife and step-daughter. Well, it was snowing. Like crazy. I became the biggest old lady worry wort. I would have hated to drive in the car with me. I kept trying to tell myself that I was a Nervous Nelly because of the last car crash that we had - you remember. The one that took out the deer and totaled the car? Yep. Life changing, because now I can hardly be a passenger in a car.
So, the embarrassment didn't end there. Nope. Our friend Steve treated Eric and me and his step-daughter to a lovely dinner at a great Indian restaurant. Well, I guess that my nerves got the best of me because all I did was chatter. Chatter. Chatter. Chatter.

I wish that there were do-overs in the grown-up world. If I had it to do again, I would be super cool, articulate, charming, relaxed and of course, insanely interesting. As it stands, I think that I was just annoying. SHIT!


michaelg said...

I've always been told I shouldn't talk about myself so negatively, but rather let my friends do that for me.
You are not annoying or uninteresting. If you were chattering, which you likely weren't, it may be because no one else was talking or because you were just excited to see them. Now, if they unfriend you in Facebook, that's different. :o)

Patti said...

i have had this internal conversation, and you know what, those that love you don't care. so chatter away missy!

Rose said...

I'm sure you were fine; we are our hardest critics, remember?

Angela Williams Duea said...

Oh, that internal critic is always so mean! Im the same way - I want to be cool and sophisticated, but instead I get all excited and animated and chattery.

I think that everyone else is just used to me that way. Maybe that's what they love about me. I'm the one who feels like I should be someone else - not them.

Ahnalog said...

Do you think you were more chattery now than the Ahna they knew and loved in college? I'm guessing you weren't. They loved you then; they love you now. And I'm with all your other friends here saying don't be so hard on yourself! :)