it's hard to be this fabulous

So I read a quote yesterday - while feverish and ill - and it made a lot of sense.

"We've been told we can do anything, so we think we should do everything."


My generation of women has been told that we can do anything! And we can. Thanks to the very strong women who fought for this right for us. It hasn't always been this easy, and we take it for granted.

I don't even know if it's about the choices.

Maybe I just feel like I don't have any choice.

I feel like I should do everything. And not just do everything, but do it really well.

I feel like I should be at the top of my pay scale.
I should be 5'10" with an tremendous sense of good taste and style.
My house should glisten.
I should drive an earth friendly vehicle for which I grow the hemp to weave my own organic seat covers. (This vehicle comfortably fits my family of 5 and our black lab, but shows no sign that anyone has ever traveled in it. I may want to sell it/donate it tomorrow. I will need to get the top blue book value of course, for I am going to fund a mission trip to Nepal!)
I should be involved in multiple good causes throughout my community, to which I give all of my free time as a volunteer.
I should be involved with my children's schools - actively involved in all of the committees and "fun groups." (This, of course, implies that I get along famously with all of the other over-achieving mothers. We are instant best friends. We do not judge each other one tiny little bit. We do not cast side-ways glances at each other - we know instinctively that we are a sisterhood and openly support each other!)
I will grow all of my own food in our tiny back yard. I will compost all of our left-overs - of which there are few. I have taken years culinary classes in my spare time, and I am intuitive about the healthy food choices that my children eat without a single whimper or whine.
I will grow organic cotton on the roof of our bio-dome from which I will weave lovely frocks for the girls that not only speak of our commitment to the environment but hint at the fashion forward sense my girls have at the tender age of 3, 6 and 9. (BTW - none of the clothing that we fashion from our solar powered sewing machine is the least bit tarty. My girls look like girls, not teenage hookers!)

Oh, and my husband? My husband and I have oodles of time for each other. We laugh and giggle together like we did when we were dating. I know it's because we take yoga together 3 times a week, just to ensure that we stay connected.
We certainly have no stress over our jobs - pure bliss! We are exactly where we want to be. Or where we should be, but we're on the way up, up, up!
Or money stress ? - who needs that much anyway? Isn't it obvious that I am making oodles and oodles of money as a blog-writer?!
Or our home - Daddyman is so handy. What he can't fix, I can. I took a couple of classes at the local tech college in plumbing and electrical wiring. I am certified in both, not to brag, of course...
Or our health - we don't need health insurance. Gave it up long ago... We are all so healthy from the non-toxic, all-organic environment we've created and the gentle, loving world that we live in. There is no stress. There is no illness. IF one of my beloved Littles should get the sniffles, I'll just whip up an organic tincture from the herbs in my windowsill gardens. They'll feel better in no time at all!

IT'S ALL GOOD. I DON'T EVEN NEED TO REST. WHO NEEDS TO REST WHEN YOU'VE CREATED SUCH A FUCKING LOVELY WORLD FOR EVERYONE AROUND YOU! IT'S PURE BLISS. 24/7. EVERYONE LOVES ME AND I LOVE EVERYONE AND THE WORLD IS A HAPPY,SHINY PLACE AND EVERYTHING IS IN IT'S PLACE AND AS IT SHOULD BE!

I feel sort of hypocritical complaining about being overwhelmed by choices.

But I am.

the window to the soul

I don't always understand my children. Does anyone, really? But sometimes I really wish that I could see inside their lovely, complex minds and figure out who they really are. This is one of the most interesting, complex, creative, loving, stubborn, thoughtful, wise little souls I've ever known. And I just don't get her.
Is it just me, or do we sort of grow away from our children as they grow older. It's very bittersweet. I felt like I knew her every thought and need as an infant, and then, as she grew older and more independent, I often feel like I'm living with a stranger.
Any parent advice on this situation would be most welcome on this soft, sad, rainy day.

words matter

This was sent to me in an e-mail. Perhaps you've seen it?

Subject: Language

Author: Unknown

If you're a minority and you're selected for a job over more qualified
candidates you're a "token hire."
If you're a conservative and you're selected for a job over more
qualified candidates you're a "game changer."


Black teen pregnancies? A "crisis" in black America .
White teen pregnancies? A "blessed event."


If you grow up in Hawaii you're "exotic."
Grow up in Alaska , you're the quintessential "American story."


If you name your kid Barack you're "unpatriotic."
Name your kid Track, you're "colorful."


If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the individual you're "reckless."
A Republican who doesn't fully vet is a "maverick."


If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your organization from a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $70,000 to $400,000, then become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new African Amerian voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, then spend nearly 8 more years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, becoming chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, then spend nearly 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of nearly 13 million people, sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you are woefully inexperienced.


If you spend 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, then spend 20 months as the governor of a state with 650,000 people, then you've got the most executive experience of anyone o n eith er ticket, are the Commander in Chief of the Alaska military and are well qualified to lead the nation should you be called upon to do so because your state is the closest state to Russia.


If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of people you are an "arrogant celebrity".
If you are a popular Republican female candidate you are "energizing the base".


If you are a younger male candidate who thinks for himself and makes his own decisions you are "presumptuous".
If you are an older male candidate who makes last minute decisions you refuse to explain, you are a "shoot from the hip" maverick.


If you are a candidate with a Harvard law degree you are an “elitist, out-of-touch” with the real American. If you are a legacy (dad and granddad were admirals) graduate of Anapolis ,with multiple disciplinary infractions you are a hero.


If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign, you are an "empty suit".
If you are a part time mayor of a town of 7000 people, you are an "experienced executive".


If you go to a south side Chicago church, your beliefs are "extremist".
If you believe in creationism and don't believe global warming is man made, you are "strongly principled".


If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.
If you have been married to the same woman with whom you've been wed to for 19 years and raising 2 beautiful daughters with, you're "risky".


If you're a black single mother of 4 who waits for 22 hours after her water breaks to seek medical attention, you're an irresponsible parent, endangering the life of your unborn child.
But if you're a white married mother who waits 22 hours, you're spunky.


If you're a 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, the right-wing press calls you "First dog."
If you're a 17-year old pregnant unwed daughter of a Republican, the right-wing press calls you "beautiful" and "courageous."


If you kill an endangered species, you're an excellent hunter.
If you have an abortion you're not a christian, you're a murderer.
(forget about if it happened while being date raped.)


If you teach abstinence only in sex education, you get teen parents.
If you teach responsible age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

I'll be damned!

He IS the Funniest Person in the Twin Cities. Get a load of this funny guy as he performs around town!

The finals were last night at ACME Comedy Club in Minneapolis. It was a sold out crowd. There was an MC, 5 finalists, a featured comedian and a headliner. Daddyman performed 3rd in the competition - and he blew the house away! Of course, we had to listen to the featured performer (Tom Steffen) and the headliner (Shane Mauss) - both guys were REALLY funny. I laughed so hard that my ribs hurt this morning. We all waited until the end of the night to learn the results of the contest. When they announced that Rick was the winner, the audience gave him a standing ovation!

I am so proud and happy for him!

You can watch him do some of his thing here:



Rick here - My friend Ed filmed my set at the finals, and now it's up on YouTube!

Here it is! WARNING: It was done in an adult comedy club - Rated PG-13!

what do you do when...

What do you do when it's late at night and you are trying to go to sleep and you just can't quit thinking and the dog is lying on your knees and the baby's sticky body is draped across your thighs and your husband is running his 3 minute comedy routine in his sleep except that he's not quiet, he's actually quite loud and annoying and the cat is softening the pillow (that you are trying to sleep on, by the way), she's pushing and poking the pillow for the 100th time tonight...?
Well, I'll tell you what you do.
You veryveryveryvery slowly slide your body out the side of the now sweaty, fur covered sheet and drop to all fours in your husbands old blue t-shirt and your not-so-sexy cotton undies and you gracefully crawl-slither to the hallway, doing everything in your power to insure that all of the occupants in the overcrowded bed remain relatively undisturbed and you tip toe down the stairs in the dark and stumble to the computer and take pictures of yourself using all of the strange effects settings on the 'photo booth' option of this imac so you have something to post on your blog.
I think this black and white one is particularly lovely, thank you.
Now, to make a cup of tea and try this sleeping thing all over again.

balance

Vital change can't be forced. It begins with embracing where you are right now.



I am seeking balance in my life. For the most part, I think that I've found some. I've been walking and singing, a lot. Not necessarily at the same time. Sometimes. Not always. It makes my dog very nervous when I sing and walk at the same time. So, when he is my walking companion I mostly just hum.

Balance.

I am eating a much healthier diet. But sometimes I eat junk food. C'mon. Who doesn't? I mean, really? Get over yourself! If you have the 'willpower' to eat grains and vegetables 24/7...good grief! You probably just go out and get stoned.

Balance.

I wear shoes I find on Freecycle (They are great - Doc Martins - super comfy and already broken in.) I shop for mid-century modern furniture on Craig's List. (I got a great price for 2 Danish Modern Lounge chairs. OK, so I need to recover them, but I know people who sew...) I reduce, reuse and recycle. Usually. Except for yogurt containers. Why can't we recycle yogurt containers. I eat the most lovely organic yogurt and I can't recycle the damned plastic containers.

Balance.

I laugh at myself. I try not to laugh at others. Unless they are my kids. Then I might laugh a lot. They're pretty ridiculous. Oh, and I laugh at my husband. But his mid-life crisis currently involves stand-up comedy. And, truth be told, he's funny.

Balance.


What do you do to find your balance?