Wednesday, September 17, 2008

it's hard to be this fabulous


So I read a quote yesterday - while feverish and ill - and it made a lot of sense.

"We've been told we can do anything, so we think we should do everything."


My generation of women has been told that we can do anything! And we can. Thanks to the very strong women who fought for this right for us. It hasn't always been this easy, and we take it for granted.

I don't even know if it's about the choices.

Maybe I just feel like I don't have any choice.

I feel like I should do everything. And not just do everything, but do it really well.

I feel like I should be at the top of my pay scale.
I should be 5'10" with an tremendous sense of good taste and style.
My house should glisten.
I should drive an earth friendly vehicle for which I grow the hemp to weave my own organic seat covers. (This vehicle comfortably fits my family of 5 and our black lab, but shows no sign that anyone has ever traveled in it. I may want to sell it/donate it tomorrow. I will need to get the top blue book value of course, for I am going to fund a mission trip to Nepal!)
I should be involved in multiple good causes throughout my community, to which I give all of my free time as a volunteer.
I should be involved with my children's schools - actively involved in all of the committees and "fun groups." (This, of course, implies that I get along famously with all of the other over-achieving mothers. We are instant best friends. We do not judge each other one tiny little bit. We do not cast side-ways glances at each other - we know instinctively that we are a sisterhood and openly support each other!)
I will grow all of my own food in our tiny back yard. I will compost all of our left-overs - of which there are few. I have taken years culinary classes in my spare time, and I am intuitive about the healthy food choices that my children eat without a single whimper or whine.
I will grow organic cotton on the roof of our bio-dome from which I will weave lovely frocks for the girls that not only speak of our commitment to the environment but hint at the fashion forward sense my girls have at the tender age of 3, 6 and 9. (BTW - none of the clothing that we fashion from our solar powered sewing machine is the least bit tarty. My girls look like girls, not teenage hookers!)

Oh, and my husband? My husband and I have oodles of time for each other. We laugh and giggle together like we did when we were dating. I know it's because we take yoga together 3 times a week, just to ensure that we stay connected.
We certainly have no stress over our jobs - pure bliss! We are exactly where we want to be. Or where we should be, but we're on the way up, up, up!
Or money stress ? - who needs that much anyway? Isn't it obvious that I am making oodles and oodles of money as a blog-writer?!
Or our home - Daddyman is so handy. What he can't fix, I can. I took a couple of classes at the local tech college in plumbing and electrical wiring. I am certified in both, not to brag, of course...
Or our health - we don't need health insurance. Gave it up long ago... We are all so healthy from the non-toxic, all-organic environment we've created and the gentle, loving world that we live in. There is no stress. There is no illness. IF one of my beloved Littles should get the sniffles, I'll just whip up an organic tincture from the herbs in my windowsill gardens. They'll feel better in no time at all!

IT'S ALL GOOD. I DON'T EVEN NEED TO REST. WHO NEEDS TO REST WHEN YOU'VE CREATED SUCH A FUCKING LOVELY WORLD FOR EVERYONE AROUND YOU! IT'S PURE BLISS. 24/7. EVERYONE LOVES ME AND I LOVE EVERYONE AND THE WORLD IS A HAPPY,SHINY PLACE AND EVERYTHING IS IN IT'S PLACE AND AS IT SHOULD BE!

I feel sort of hypocritical complaining about being overwhelmed by choices.

But I am.

6 comments:

by Johanna Brandvik said...

i'm easily overwhelmed (with far less than you have on your plate!) and can relate to this, Ahna.

i hate the pressure that women feel to be everything to everybody. and i love the fact that you are willing to share your voice about this. if we all give volume to the chaos of over-extended families, perhaps we can begin to soothe our selves, families and communities, and come together with less frenzy and more compassion.

love you.

Patti said...

all my life i have been a "fuck what they (whomever they are) want me to do" kinda gal. i likes to do what I think is important. that may be why i will drive what i like (truck), eat what i like (meat and lots of it), have a messy house if i like (i like! i like!) and keep a gun if i like (i especially likes me shotgun...).

join me, won't you?

Rose said...

I go back and forth between wanting to please everyone and listening to my "inner voice", although the older I get, the better I am about taking care of myself. Except when I don't. It's so hard sometimes and then we feel guilty for whining, but it's because we're thinking, and that's a good thing I think.

marsbarn said...

Oh, I hear you! Loud and clear, damn it.

We've been struggling to make this school year work for my older daughter, and I actually had another mom in the class say to me "Oh, you're at home, couldn't you just sit in the classroom and monitor it all day?" Ya. Right. 'Cause all I do now is eat bon-bons. Ri-ight.

Saying "no". It's a good thing.

Lois said...

Hear, hear. Amen, sister.

Kirsten said...

Love the post. You sound a lot like me. Thanks for putting that out there for all us stressed out perfect homemakers :)