Sunday, September 9, 2007

butterflies and boogers

Today, this lovely little Yaya looked up at me in church with a gooey, runny nose and said, "Someday, Mama, I am going to be a beautiful butterfly and I will use my wings to fly, fly, fly, fly to my butterfly mommy. I will miss you."
Good grief. What do you say to that?
Since my girls were born, I have know that part of my job as a mom is to teach my children to leave me. Then my littlest daughter talks about leaving and flying home to her butterfly mommy and my heart hurts a little.
I wanted to burst out into tears. (I am a little tired.) Instead, I got a grip and began to think about what it takes to become a butterfly. That little caterpillar must find the perfect spot and create the perfect cocoon, and then that caterpillar completely changes it's shape and form. It goes to goo. Then all of the caterpillar parts re-organize themselves into butterfly parts. When the butterfly pulls itself out of the cocoon, it must rest while their wings dry - patient lovely winged ones. It's not easy to become a butterfly.
I've decided that I have a new job. It is this: to help my sweet little caterpillar find the perfect spot and support her while she builds the perfect cocoon, then I need to be patient while this teen aged caterpillar goes to goo. I'll help her reorganize, if she wants me to do that (probably not). Then I will wait with her while her wings dry. I will be there when she takes flight. I will wave like mad. And I will wait until she returns home to me.
I will miss you, too, my butterfly girl.


Nonna said...

Having just sent my first baby from her cocoon to find her wings, your entry brought bittersweet tears to my eyes!

Sew Succulent said...

this made me teary too.

lovely mama.

your daughters look like Madame Alexander dolls. just beautiful.

Rose said...

Thank you so much for your lovely comments on my blog. I get so excited when I read them. What a great analogy for letting go and our job as mothers. You can tell how much you enjoy being a mom!

Rose said...

MB & I loved the way you wrote about your love of books in your comment. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts. Have a great week!

kalurah said...

(*heart warming, softly*)

by Johanna Brandvik said...

By thy grace, bittersweet. And oh, so lovely.

Anonymous said...

All I can say, is you're absolutely right . . . and it just may be the hardest thing we do as parents. As a parent of two 20 somethings, I can tell you it's still as exciting and scary as the first day they tried out their new butterfly wings. Thank you.

Chris and Rikki said...

I love this story, Ahna. What a perfect analogy.