Last weekend we went into the suburbs. The very scary suburbs. So frightening, in fact, that we had to guard our children against the dangers. We made them wear their bike helmets. And while sitting on the lawn may seem danger-free, who knows what can happen in the wilds of suburbia? My dear, sweet feeble-minded auntie is obviously taking her life into her own hands be throwing caution to the wind and sitting on the lawn with out her helmet. Doesn't she know that she needs to protect herself? She is in the SUBURBS for goodness sake! ACK! I am running in circles frantically waving my hands over my head and shouting nonsense words - Save the Auntie. Save the children.
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